And thank God for that or I guess I would be up-a-creek. Stuck watching soap operas instead. Seriously, is anyone else horribly troubled by the headline and tone of the propaganda supposed-article published recently in the New York Times? I think it was their coverage of the Blogging Bootcamp event (although the piece was published in Fashion & Style instead of Business), but I’m not sure. The seemingly biased, snarky piece read more like the attacks we used to see thrown at working mothers who dared to use their brains for more than washing dishes. Heavens!
The headline read “Honey, Don’t Bother Mommy. I’m Too Busy Building My Brand.” That was the unbiased part. It got worse. Golden nuggets of sarcasm wisdom are sprinkled throughout the article, like this gem, “Teaching your baby to read? Please. How to hide vegetables in your child’s food? Oh, that’s so 2008.” One would suspect that Jennifer is a childless, single-minded, fast-tracked-career woman who just doesn’t realize that you can get plenty of computer time in by cutting out a daily commute and afternoon soaps.
But no. It turns out that Jennifer Mendelsohn is actually a mother herself. And blogger. Too bad she hasn’t more productively joined the community she chose to mock and treat with such derision. I wonder how she managed to build such a successful freelancing career as a stay-at-home mom when by her own admission she only just got four hours a day to herself while her two kids were in school as recently as January of this year. *Gasp* It was probably in the same way the rest of us do – WITH our children.
The article makes it sound like one cannot be a successful mother and manage a successful career simultaneously. I’m sorry – that mentality is so last century. Is it not? Have we NOT come further than that since the 70’s and 80’s when women were still seeking entry into “male-run industries”. Like publishing, marketing, PR and online industries?
Maybe I have a warped idealistic point-of-view. After all, I grew up with a mother who not only runs a successful home-based business (one of the top in her company!) and has trained hundreds of women internationally in said business, but ALSO raised and homeschooled eight (count them – EIGHT!) children. Both. It never crossed my mind to disbelieve the notion that I could be anything I wanted to be. I could be a successful mother (as well as any mother can consider herself “a success”) and ALSO manage a successful career writing online.
Yes, I was away from my children to write this blog post and choosing a blog name that’s perfect is very important. They were happily helping my husband bring the tractor back from the 10 acre garden we are planting at the ranch this year. They never noticed my absence. I WOULD have written this post two days ago when I first read the article but I was busy on a date night with my husband and today, at the park with my kiddos. (See photographic evidence for pictures of obviously neglected kids *removing tongue from cheek*)
I don’t have to”hide vegetables” in my child’s food – I’ve had almost every meal of their little lives right by their side and showed them by example how to enjoy nutritious food. I actually AM in the process of teaching my children how to read. Thank you very much. And instead of paying someone else to do it for me, while I punch a clock on someone else’s schedule, I am able to BE THERE when my child needs a new diaper, or has an exciting new discovery from our backyard wonder-land to share with me.
Because online careers and, yes, blogging, has leveled the playing field in such a way that my mother in her petitioning-against-required-Home-Economics-for-females-in-her-high-school could only hope for. And following in her footsteps I plan to do BOTH – raise and school my children and be actively involved in their lives AND manage a successful career that blesses our family financially and keeps my children out of childcare with total strangers.
I’m just sorry Jennifer’s article didn’t celebrate that women are finally empowered to manage that dream. Instead of berating and belittling them for attempting it. THAT attitude was so last decade. And I pray for my daughter’s sake the remnants of that attitude will finally end in THIS decade. We could only wish that influential old-media like New York Times would pave the way towards more enlightened attitudes regarding women, motherhood and business. But apparently not. I guess it’s a good thing I’m home to encourage my daughter myself!
First off, such adorable pictures! Thanks for sharing.
Love your post because it highlights exactly what Kelby was talking about in her post: women CAN and SHOULD be recognized for their abilities to multitask and be moms as well as professionals.
I think it’s going to take a shift in perspective. People need to not only see the value of women, but also the value of blogging and those who do it. Until then, we will be fighting this battle.
Great post Ang….
Tamara
Great response to an article that was missing -so- much insight! Following you!
What a powerful, articulate post! Like many others, I was completely disgusted with the article. You definitely picked out some of her jewels (in quotes)!
Why does she think that good parenting and successful blogging can’t co-exist?! Off the top of my head, I can think of tons of successful bloggers who inspire me professionally and as a mother! Thank you for your passionate voice on this subject. Thank you for shining the true light on Ms. Snarky!
What it comes down to is a combination of intentionally rubbing people the wrong way to stir up controversy and a little bit of old fashioned jealousy.
We work hard as parents, business owners and employees, and for someone to suggest that our children are being neglected for the sake of our brand? Without our children and the experiences and memories that we create with them, for most of us there would be no brand.
I’m going to go back to working on my brand and neglecting my kids now. Oh wait, they’re ASLEEP, which is when most of us work. Huh. Maybe I should put this off for tomorrow when they’re awake so I can do this the way the NY Times headline suggests.
Like you Ang I have been able to get as close to “having it all” because of being a mommy blogger. I have been able to stay in my industry of early education while branching out to writing, and getting paid for it. When I decided to stay home when my son was born I could never have imagined the career that would be carved out because I decided to share my knowledge as a teacher with other moms. This isn’t a hobby , I am blessed to share my passion for education with my child AND other moms, while being very much a hands on mother .
Thank you for exemplifying that instead of ignoring our children we are showing them a positive role model of a parent who is following her passions , work and motherhood.
@Allie at notimeforflashcards – EXACTLY! I get to not only help empower other mothers, and in at least one case I know of help make the difference between day-care + out-of-the-home-job vs home where she wants to be….but I can do so while still being at my children’s beck-and-call! Lol! Just ask them – they are spoiled rotten and they know it. 😉 But I think it’s great that my kids can have a committed care-giver AND not sacrifice the occasional pizza-night-out to have that. I think it’s great that other mothers are realizing that more and more for their OWN families and children. Love your site, by the way. 🙂
Hear, hear! I’d love to see a link to the original NY Times article… or maybe not. It doesn’t sound like my kind of reading. But you are 1000% right, and then some. I’m sick and tired of mothers being judged. You don’t want us to stay home and “be lazy?” So we work. The you don’t want us away from home working because we’re not with our kids enough? So we work from home. Now that’s not good enough either. Well forget that. Women, and mothers in particular, are the most adaptable creatures on the planet. Shame on any supposedly self-respecting mother and woman who mocks others for giving it their all and actually succeeding.
@Tamara – Yes, you’re right. A shift in perspective that is taking an unfortunately long time since the days of female authors using pseudonyms to get published. (P.S. Thanks for the comment on my kids – I have one more adorable but the ranch connection is SO limited I couldn’t get it uploaded. LOL!)
@Amy – Well I was a bit peeved at the article when I first read it yesterday. Then tonight to find the author was herself a mother – I was even more disturbed….Sad that we can’t support eachother more in ALL our endeavors.
@Shannon – LOL! Yeah well – you notice when the vast majority of my posts go live. Nearing midnight most of the time unless I schedule them. 😉
@Wifey – I’m glad we connected! 🙂 Always great to meet new people.
And people wonder why print media is losing its readership??
It is BECAUSE of the influence I have on my children that I do what I do. I want them to see this example that I’m setting; that it is possible to be a mother, wife, blogger, friend, volunteer, homemaker…and that engaging in one does not mean to the exclusivity of all else.
Great post! As a mom to 3 daughters, I am so happy that they get to see me working for myself, and on my own terms. They know they come first, and I know I am a great role model for them to see. Too bad there are women/moms that want to bash other moms and not support them. Very sad.
Well said, Angie. I haven’t read the original article, but I execpt she’ll get letters. Lots of them. Funny. Whenever I have a niggle, my H says ” I think you should write a letter to The Times.” Perhaps YOU should do that.
Great response! No one lambasted Harriet Beecher Stowe for scraping together the time to write Uncle Tom’s Cabin in the kitchen, with her kids gathered around her. And isn’t blogging a meaning-making activity that gives shape and language to our live?
Stopping by from SITS… I would say that the fact that the SITS conference garnered the NY Times attention is a mark of how far women have come in terms of being recognized as a force to reckon with… and how much further there is to go
http://lifeforward.onsugar.com
Hi Angela!
Nice post. I enjoyed reading your blog.
I am actually sharing the same sentiments with a friend, few days ago… I told her I am so grateful of the internet because it gave me the chance to have a career, become financially independent, do something I am passionate about while raising and nurturing my kids.
Thanks for sharing =)
you’re kids are adorable, by the way.
Thank you Angela, for posting this. It is a really great response and you, like so many other mom bloggers, are a wonderful example of how to manage time effectively while being a full-time, fully involved parent to your children. It is possible and it is clear that Ms. “I-Can’t-Do-It, So-Neither-Can-You’ has now idea what she’s actually missing out on – a great community of bloggers/writers who actually parent, write and manage homes, a chance to work on your own time and terms(usually!) and most important, be with your kids whenever they need you.
Thank you, once again, for your response. Seconding what Lorraine said – Please send this to The Times.
I have so much more respect for you as a wife and mom first – then career woman. I’m all for women having careers, but if their families are falling apart in the background, the foundation is shaky and crumbly. Women definitely need options, but never at the risk of the family.
Your kids are adorable, by the way. They look happy and loved.
Angela, as usual you are right on. I work at home as a writer and raise two children, and both know how to read. In fact, my daughter writes children’s books already and she is the top reader in her entire grade. Not class, grade. My son is reading the likes of Call of the Wild and Harry Potter and he is only 7 years old. And both of them love their veggies. 🙂
Thanks for posting and standing up for us WAHMs!
I think the headline was what shocked me the most. It was completely bashing us, and then the article itself was okay with a lot of condescending attitude. I think someone is just jealous she has to work for the NYT! LOL
I couldn’t agree more, Angela. Why can’t we do both? I don’t ever allow writing/blogging to interfere with my first priority – I write after my children are in bed for the night or naptime. I can’t even fathom what I would produce if they were running around underfoot – it would be one scary piece of writing I can tell you that…
Great observations and thoughts!
great blog post! I agree with you that you can make time for yourself, your children, your husband and even outside interests … it’s all about balance and making it work for you… I love the outlet that blogging provides and try to get to it daily, but no one is going to beat me about the head repeatedly if I decide to take a day to go to the park with my little guy or spend all day volunteering at the school library…
Thank you for writing an articulate post about how you blog 🙂
Terrific response to a mean-spirited article. Hard to fathom what Jennifer’s gripe is. Really gratuitous bashing. Perhaps her planets were out of alignment that day…….
Well said! I linked to you in my post http://kellysluckyyou.blogspot.com/2010/03/now-we-have-nerve-to-want-respect-you.html
Love this post. Several thoughts going through my head, but it’s late and I can’t seem to articulate them. I’m probably failing at commenting because I like to take care of my children and make sure they get their schooling done while I’m trying to build an online business. Of course we are all extremely backward and unsocialized. I’m so awful my daughter wants to be a vlogger too.
Some weeks I’d just about kill for 4 hours without my kids. I’m extremely lucky to get that in a month!
And let’s not talk about vegetables…I have to hide them in my husband’s food!
Angela,
Great post and it really applies to both genders as the recent economy has blurred the breadwinner line.
See you on Suite!
People who don’t know much about “mommy bloggers” don’t get it — we are trying to be the kind of moms who are there for our children instead of sticking them in daycare all day and work outside the house. I am trying to make a decent living with my blogging because staying home with my child is more important to me than buying more stuff. I consider myself not absorbed with my own “branding;” I am an entrepreneur running a business from home. Men get applauded for this, moms have to explain themselves?
Thank you for your insightful post. Here is my response, if you are interested: http://dagmarbleasdale.com/2010/03/mommy-bloggers-and-their-depiction-in-the-new-york-times/
Best,
Dagmar
Dagmar’s momsense
Good post & I’m so with you in everyway!
I want to be Ang when I grow up!