When you blog often, and venture into various online communities you find some good friends. And some not so good friends. One of the things I’m learning with my consulting, with my own sphere of influence and with my life in general is the difference.
What makes a true blogging friend?
In blogging, as with life, there are certain characteristics that define a true friend. Let’s take a quick look at them, shall we? I think that we sometimes forget.
A friend is true – and willing to tell the truth.
“No, that theme does NOT look better than the last.” “Um, did you see that typo in the second paragraph? Might want to fix that before you tweet it out again.” or “Hey! How’s it going on that blog post you said you were working on?” These are the types of things you might hear a friend say. Especially a blog friend. After all – everyone hates to find the typo in paragraph two a week and a half later.
A friend has your best interest at heart.
In the blogging community I think we sometimes forget this. It’s not about you alone. You cannot reach every reader, work with every company, and write everything there is to say. So it should be obvious then that in the blogging community we should be looking out for each other. Perhaps, introducing sponsors and opportunities to those around us that if they are not something suitable for us specifically. Maybe it’s pointing out a fantastic post or article to our readers and followers. Maybe it’s just that our feedback isn’t fluff designed to stroke the ego, but rather our honest, heart-felt opinion designed to help another put their best foot forward.
I am grateful for those around me who are willing to stand by me, speak up to me and reach out on my behalf. Those who helped me when I championed a cause. Those who supported me when I started a new endeavor.
It makes me honored. And humbled. It makes me wonder, how am I being a friend to those around me? How do they perceive me? As approachable? As honest? As true? I hope so.
I know I can be blunt. As iron, sometimes. But I hope that my friends see the heart behind that – to make them sharper and more effective. What about you? What kind of friend are you?



















Wilderness Wallflowers and Drive-By Blogging – Ten Habits of Success Day 15
By AngEngland | Ten Habits
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Angela’s Note: I was trying to remember when I met Danny Brown and I couldn’t. I’m sure it was through Twitter so it must have been through a #journchat chat or one of the other chats I like to sit in on. Regardless of the when, I have found his advice and input to be engaging, challenging, informative and helpful. I hope you do too. Danny Brown encourages conversations about building community around emerging media. He is also founder of 12for12k, a social media-led charity initiative to connect globally and help locally. Follow Danny on Twitter at @DannyBrown.
Do you have on your dancing shoes? Then it's time to make blogging magic! Photo by Dez Pain
Remember high school and the awkwardness that came at end of year dances? If you weren’t part of the “in crowd”, you were the wilderness wallflowers – stood in the corner, nodding out of time to the DJ, and trying not to look like the lost, hopeless soul you were?
Are your blogging habits like that? It doesn’t matter if you’re a blogger or blog reader; are you the equivalent of a wilderness wallflower? Do you just write and forget, or read and move on? Are you drive-by blogging?
Don’t worry; we’ve all done it. Written without encouraging follow-up interaction, or left a blog behind that deserved our comments. But just because we have done it doesn’t mean we need to continue doing it.
Imagine if someone at the school dance had come up to you and asked you to dance. Or simply said you looked good. Imagine how much of a difference that would have made to you. So why not transfer that “would have” to “does” when it comes to your blogging habits?
Blogger Still Equals Reader
When you blog, the first person you should write for is you. This is the only way that true passion will come across, and the best blogs are the ones that are raw and true. Writing for you will keep it real, and your readers will appreciate it more.
Yet you also need to write with your readers in mind, to change them from wilderness wallflowers to budding oases. One of the biggest complaints that bloggers have is that they don’t receive enough comments; but are you encouraging them?
Thinking from a commenter’s point of view makes it more likely that you’ll begin to write posts in a way that encourages commenting. And the best ideas for new posts often come from the comments, not to mention the fact that comments build community.
From Lurker to Local
The other side of the wallflower coin is the drive-by commenter. Now, there’s nothing wrong per se with reading a blog and moving onto pastures new. But let’s step back for a minute and look at what happened when you read that blog.
Did you learn something new? Did it open your eyes to new possibilities? Did it touch you emotionally? Did it make you question your points of view?
The best bloggers instill a reaction from their readers. They make us question, and think, and react. They make us want to share our points of view and why theirs might not actually be the right one.
So why stay quiet? Why not open up and let the blogger know what you’re thinking? Be the person that goes up to the wallflower at the dance and tells them they look good. Ask for the dance. But make it a great dance.
Bloggers write for themselves first, but they also write with their readers in mind. They want to culture community. They want to hear your views. They want you to have a voice, to challenge them. So do it.
The best blogs are the ones that have a vibrant community of disparate voices. They’re disparate because the blogger encourages discussion, and the reader is happy to open up.
So. Next time you’re finishing a post, either from a writing or a reading angle, think of the next step. Think of how the conversation can be extended. And think of all the benefits that this new openness can bring.
You might not get that dance with your high school crush, but you sure as heck can (and will) make the next dance better. Ready to stop being a wallflower?